you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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