gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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