So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize