If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
