...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Randomize
