At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
