I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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