She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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