dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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