people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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