I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
