hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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