i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
