I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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