apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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