Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
