Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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