There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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