rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize