I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
