but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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