i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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