the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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