not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
did i walk over a car last night?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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