The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
