She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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