Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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