he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Your topless pictures make me question reality
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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