nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
