bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
