and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
