So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
