I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
