She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
