For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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