Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
