My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize