Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
