I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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