Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
