She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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