ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
