So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
