All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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