Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
