He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
