if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
