He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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