it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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