Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
