i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
