Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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