just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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