we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
