You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
