I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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