Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
