he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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